Since Winter of 2002 I have been walking down, pretty religiously, Saturday morning to the Farmers Market, except on days when it's pouring rain;
Always getting wonderful, beaming with joy and life produce.
I went first to my very favorite organic vendor stand, and found a tribute table with
Laura Trent's picture on it - candles and flowers.
The produce right behind it beaming with color and freshness.
At first, I didn't understand ignoring the sign with words, eyeing the early girl tomatoes, and purple and green okra.
Then I went back to the table and realized Laura Trent was gone from this Earth.
She took her life on Wednesday of last week, and the tears began like a facet. My thoughts were: Why? How alone she must have felt on Earth to do this. How I would miss the smiling, but shy, determined woman of so much talent and blessing she gave to the Earth. I didn't even know this woman! She meant something to me, I had many interactions with her over the years, and she would even give me tips on how to cook the vegetables she sold. Then, the sudden panic of our impermanence hit me. How we would all be gone... passed on into recycled molecules, and more tears and fears arose.
Each of us so precious, so miraculous, so important to even strangers.
Then all I could do was pick out the last of Laura Trent's harvest, because her farm would be sold, no one left to manage it.
There I stood in the middle of Splash Pad Park, hordes of people around me, all alone with this woman's delicious harvest in my satchel.
Then, I told myself - get it together! No wait, I really need to feel this, so I attempted to follow my routine going to my local Himalayan vendor (always with a smile of a Buddha on his face) purchasing my hot cup of Cha tea with milk.
Then I went to the tamale vendor, and purchased the most simple tamale and ate quietly on the ledge watching people, feeling a lot and not saying a word.
This was all I could do, living my simple life with Laura Trent forever in my consciousness. May she finally rest in peace.